The desire of my heart

I have to admit that when I was first asked to lead Sunday school class, it felt like it was more of a "Let's keep the kids from bothering the adults" duty.

I was still shell-shocked from moving to Belize.  Nathanael could attest to the fact that change and me are sometimes enemies.  I think I want change but when it comes suddenly, it is difficult for me.
I often need some time to adjust, find my own way.

Even though I waited a month and a half to start the class, my heart was not in it.  After a long week homeschooling my children, it felt overwhelming to try to do something exciting Sunday mornings.

I had a plan to follow the honor curriculum, but that fizzled out due to Nathanael and I switching "shifts" on more than one occasion. We still are slowly working through this as a family.  I really love the simplicity of it, and what it teaches.

I instead settled on Ministry to Children.  They offer simple object lessons that I can build off of and a coloring page.

Once a plan was settled in my mind, God began to work on my heart.  He has reminded me of importance.  No matter what age, or what we do we are important to God.  Even if it seems like this job I have is lackluster, I have kids attention for a limited time.  What am I going to do with it.

As God changed my heart, I began to remember how important prayer is.  Nathanael and I clean the church on Sunday mornings before church.  This is my time to pray. To pray as I clean the dirt and roaches out of the bathroom. To go over the classroom and ask Jesus to be there with us.

The biggest lesson I learned last year was our utter dependence on God.  As I seek him, as I depend on his grace, it motivates me to seek him for these: his children.

When I saw the word of the week, I had to look it up.  Hesed. I honestly had never heard of it.  As I read the definition, tears brimmed in my eyes.

Hesed is the ultimate motivator.  Me I don't do well with rules or boxes.  His great great love is what calls me to obedience.  It is what I pray for my children:that they would experience him.  It is what I desire the children in Sunday school to see.

I don't want them to see me. I don't want them to have "fun" I pray that they meet with their creator, and know his Hesed.